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e y e s
s p a r k l e
f l i r t
b l o g

Sunday, March 20, 2005

I just saw Tim today. Tim was the codename I'm sure I used for him. He was the first guy I ever wrote about online - before I had a blog, in my online diary. Maybe you could say he was my inspiration for spilling my guts online.

We had a thing - and it was ages ago. A whole other life. We were both different then- younger, definitely innocent. We were different people then.

It's weird because we had kept it a secret from our mutual friends. It was because we were both so young, and because we were family friends. It had stayed a secret until very recently, but through reasons I could not control, my two closest friends in that group found out. So on the car ride home, we all talked about it, for the first time.

And talking about it in the open like that, it just brought on a flood of memories that I thought were long buried. A flood of sadness.

My friends tell me that they thought they could see something between us. And definitely I will always find him attractive, but is it mutual? Maybe. I think just talking about it inflates it more for me. So in an act of self-preservation, I will try to forget it.

9:01 PM

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