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e y e s
s p a r k l e
f l i r t
b l o g
Sunday, July 17, 2005
I wish I wasn't so indecisive. I wish I knew once and for all how I felt about RGuy. Or maybe I'm just so terrified of change. Terrified of making a mistake. And you may rightly point out that my indecision is the answer.I have been back in touch with a friend. Ever since we've known eachother, there has always been something going on between us. Just brimming below the surface. But whenever he tried to initiate something, the timing just never worked out.
Now, we've hung out a couple of times. And perhaps it is my own unconscious (maybe not so unconscious) desire to get out, break out, to do something scandalous, to escape the commitment I am in... but I can't help but feel this electricity between us. Like magnets. I found myself shaving and wearing cute underwear for our meetings. Of course nothing has happened. He's a good guy, he would never cross any lines. Especially since he told me that he once had a girlfriend that cheated on him. But he knows the situation between RGuy and me, and he trieds to push me into admitting that something is not right.
Anyways, he's gone. He has gone to Asia to meet up with friends and travel. When we said good bye last, I told him to take lots of pictures.
11:58 PM
