I just got back home from a night over at S's. And I feel so incredibly lonely now. And I had to resist the urge to call him right away.
And I cannot blame this on being sleep deprived and therefore emotional and sensitive. Because I got a lot of sleep this morning.
But I love him. I know it for sure now.
And it hurts. Because this will not be easy. I am destined to be heartbroken.
He will either leave me because he's freaked out that I love him. And even if he doesn't leave me for that reason, he will have to leave me anyway because he'll be moving back home for four months this summer. And even if that doesn't happen, he will have to leave anyways because he could never take a relationship with me seriously because of our cultural and religious differences.
The question is now - do I tell him?
Maybe that song "I'm Still In Love With You" by Sean Paul should be our theme song:
The girl sings....
"Boy you make me holler Boy you make me sweat and I can't get your tenderness Still I can't get you off my mind What is it about you baby?"
"I love you baby You don’t know how to love me... I don’t know why I love you baby"
And Sean Paul responds:
"A true me give her tug love and say bye... Me turn around she ask the question why... When me leaving me see the gal cry... And it hurts my heart to tell lie... So don’t cry no more Baby girl for sure Just remember the good times we had before" 3:06 PM