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e y e s
s p a r k l e
f l i r t
b l o g
Thursday, April 27, 2006
So I did it. I told him.And I didn't say it exactly how I had planned, but I did say it.
He didn't say it back, which is too bad, but not surprising... After a bit of a pause where I was clutching him, with my face buried in his chest, he said he didn't know what to say, and I said "S'ok" - and I meant it.
I compared myself to an immediate release pill - I think I am able to know how I feel about a guy within the first three months.
But we were able to talk. I was able express myself to him - my fears about the summer, etc. I was able to tell him all the things I was afraid to tell him. Like how thinking about him leaving for the summer was breaking my heart. And how I knew that for where I am right now, I would follow him after graduation - I would follow him across the country. But only if he would allow me.
I told him I had been scared to tell him out of fear of scaring him off. And he told me that he doesn't scare easily - that it would take a lot to bother him.
We were able to talk openly about our relationship.
And I cried in front of him. The tears were flowing. And afterwards, he told me no more tears. :)
And I think we are closer now.
He still held my hand as we walked down the street together. He still paid for my food. He still smiled at me. He still cuddled me in bed this morning and last night.
And we actually talk about September as if we already know that we will be together then - without really talking about the logistics of the summer yet. But I think it might just work.
1:11 AM
