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Erica *
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e y e s
s p a r k l e
f l i r t
b l o g
Friday, February 11, 2005
I picked a fight with RGuy tonight. I guess I was angry for no reason. I know I'm not as nice to him as I should be.Am I pushing him away?
I think I need to figure things out.
What sucks is that if I were to break up with him, he would probably keep himself busy with his friends, probably going out like crazy. And I would be at home alone, wondering if I have anyone to be close to.
1:18 AM
Monday, February 07, 2005
How bizarrely small this world is.I love RGuy. But I don't know if I can be with him anymore. I've given him 3 years of my life. And they've been good. He's my best friend. But I think that maybe that is all he is. I need to see if I can find someone to love deeply.
10:45 PM
Sunday, February 06, 2005
So I found out that this girl who has been in our circle of friends for a relatively shorter time than I is the sister of Guy #1's old roommate.Guy #1. Who came before RGuy, and before KGuy.
A flood of memories. Sort of bittersweet.
The relationship had not been without it's problems. Long distance was the nail that drove us apart. He broke up with me after we had been seeing eachother for only 3 months. And he never actually made me his girlfriend.
However, he was the sweetest guy. Sweeter than RGuy. Completely considerate and polite. Older. Grown up. Responsible.
And one more thing. We had incredible physical chemistry. It was hot. It was like time disappeared once we started. He should have been my first time. It would have been perfect. I know it.
When this girl told me about the connection between us, my jaw dropped. And now I can't help but think about him.
4:51 PM
