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e y e s
s p a r k l e
f l i r t
b l o g

Thursday, September 29, 2005

There is something really intimate about a mix tape - okay they're not mixtapes anymore - they're burned CDs (that just doesn't have the same tone to it, does it?). My CD was labelled "For Erica" - how perfect, how special.

This is not the first time a person of interest has made me a mixtape. It's just a perfect way to introduce yourself more to someone, isn't it? Sharing music is something that is so personal. The further off the mainstream map, the better, don't you think?

10:31 PM

Sunday, September 25, 2005

RGuy left for HK today. He's gone for 2 weeks.

And I desperately miss him already.

I'm so silly. I go away all the time, I travel within Canada, hop over to the next province, I've even been away to HK myself during the course of our relationship. And that doesn't affect me, in fact, I am glad to get away.

But now that he's the one to get away, I feel lonely. I miss our nightly phone calls. Now that I can't have it, I want it. And knowing he's really far away, the other side of the globe really, it makes it even harder.

And this is the confirmation that I seek. Confirmation that I do love him. That I need him and that I'm not so independent after all. This is what it would be like if we didn't have each other.

Hopefully he finds his way to an internet cafe soon to write to me.

11:56 PM

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Today was a day for daydreaming.

Daydreaming about Jf's fingers.

Daydreaming about Jn's lips.

Daydreaming about Bn's eyes.

If I wanted something so badly could I have it? What is stopping me? My ties to RGuy of course. I am not a monogamous person in my head. But in practice, yes I am. And it sucks.

11:38 PM

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

I tried to forget it, and I almost did.

I tried to pretend that I made it up, but I feel sure that I didn't.

I know there was something there, and that can't be taken away from me.

If I could go back and do things differently I would. Would I be where I am now if I had? Would things be different? Would I have what I want, or do I really even know what that is?

11:06 PM

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