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e y e s
s p a r k l e
f l i r t
b l o g

Thursday, May 24, 2007

It's so strange.

I miss him. I just get so used to his presence.

I wish that I had something profound to say about this whole experience.

7:15 PM

Sunday, May 13, 2007

When I call him, my heart always breaks if he hasn't picked up by the 3rd ring. I feel a lurch in my heart. I don't know why it affects me so much. Like it's such a tragedy - but it's not.

3:22 PM

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

I miss him (I'll miss him forever).

7:12 PM

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

I'm so attached.

It's horrible.

How unfortunate. That I am so in love with him. And to have it unrequited.

I don't think that S sees it that way. Because he is young. And probably has never been in love. He sees himself as not as emotional as me because he is a guy. And stronger. Which is true to an extent, but really, it is because he doesn't love me.

Poetic justice I guess?

Because that is what happened with RGuy. He loved me. I didn't love him.

And I don't want to let S go. Yet I have a million reasons to do so.

11:36 PM

So after 2 pretty blissful months of living together... we are now in our separate places. Still close - sorta. About a 20 minute walk away. Still. It was hard to say good bye.

After being together everyday, seeing eachother, just becoming part of eachother's routine. Is that what marriage is like?

I was just happy. We were in sync. We got along so well - we ate the same foods, we shared the same bed. We shared our lives. We were happy.

So there I was - dissolving into tears. Saying good bye. Like going backwards. From living together everyday, to living alone. Is this what divorce is like?

How will I ever let go?

11:21 PM

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