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e y e s
s p a r k l e
f l i r t
b l o g

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Okay maybe I overreacted yesterday.

I love him too much to leave him like that. So the plan remains as follows: stick it out and try harder to build my life out here. We'll see how it goes.

9:05 PM

Clearly it's been a while since I've posted. I guess it's a sign that I've been happy... until maybe now.

So I made the big jump. I changed my life for him. I changed everything.

And I'm not sure I'm happy.

Don't get me wrong, I still love him and I know he loves me.

But apparently it's not enough?

Which is crazy, because don't we all just want love? Aren't we all just looking for love? Looking for that perfect love?

But what would you give up for love?

Friends? Family? Home?

I don't know if it's worth it. I'm still trying to figure that out.

And part of it is probably my fault. I have some sort of social challenge where my world revolves around him and I haven't really made a lot of friends. Because the minute that he is not available for me, I am completely alone. It's so sad, it's pathetic. I have never been good at this. But at least before I was home and comfortable.

So I just feel like my life here is just not what I wanted.

3:47 AM

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