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e y e s
s p a r k l e
f l i r t
b l o g
Monday, May 08, 2006
The first hour or two was torture. Being in the same room, in such close proximity to this man I had fallen so hard for. Knowing I could touch him now, but it was all very definitely a temporary thing. It was unbearable. I could touch him, I could kiss him, but none of it was mine to keep.I think he was trying to make me feel better by being silly and making jokes. And I was trying so hard.
It got better later though. I started trying to distance myself emotionally. Allowing myself to see him as less than perfect. He continued to be as affectionate as ever.
But I know that part of that is just a show, just my outer shell. It is all very painful. But I can try to start to heal now.
4:54 PM
