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Saturday, July 22, 2006

Always want what we can't have right?

I find it hard to justify to friends why I'm still with S.

Some of the reasons I have come up with:

  • Why sacrifice 4 or 8 months of happiness with him?
  • Maybe I will be okay saying good bye to him again when he leaves for good. I've already had to do it once.
  • I haven't found anyone worth leaving him for yet.
  • How can I give him up? He's gorgeous.
  • I love him.
Reasons I have not said outloud:
  • I can't face him in class this fall and not be with him. I want to avoid awkwardness at all costs.
  • I can't leave him because I secretly hope he will fall in love with me. Even if he can't stay with me, I still want his love.
  • I can't leave him because part of me still thinks there's the slimmest possibility that he will change his mind.
  • The sex is too good to give up.

3:57 PM

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