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e y e s
s p a r k l e
f l i r t
b l o g
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
I'm so confused.I am disappointed with my life because I can't see a clear path for me right now. And I know I've said that here before.
Things with S are going swimmingly. We are so close when we are together. We sit down at a restaurant. Lean in towards eachother. He puts his hand on mine resting on the table. We hold hands under the table. Feels a lot like love. I love him. I love him way too much for my own good.
It seems like I am back at square one. Just as hung up as ever. Just as attached as ever. Just as messed up as ever.
I found out that we will be separated (for school stuff) for the winter term. So that throws in another challenge into this relationship. All I wanted was for this to work out and be amazing while he was here. And I'd face the consequences later.
And things are even more complicated by my parents, my living situation, and of course school. How can I lose sight of school when it's something I should be doing for myself? I will have to write this huge exam for getting licensed in May... and all I can think about is how I can spend more time with S in that month before he goes, not how I need to be studying in order to do well. F*ck.
12:50 PM
