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e y e s
s p a r k l e
f l i r t
b l o g

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

I miss him so much. I miss him so much it's ridiculous.

Yet I'm also so worried that he's cheating on me on me. It's got me so worried that I couldn't sleep right away last night. I mean I trust him, I trust that he would never intentionally hurt me, but I also don't trust that he knows how to stay out of situations where temptation can be avoided.

This is insecurity defined.

Perhaps I am shallow for being so obsessed with my relationship. And clearly it is not that healthy for me because I'm thinking like a crazy person. But along with my misery, I am so happy to be with him. Just being with him makes me so intensely satisfied. It is enough for me.

Perhaps that is love defined.

So why do I swing back and forth between insecurity and love? If I knew that he wanted to stay with me, would I be different? If he told me that he loved me, would that also make things different or better?

7:53 PM

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