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e y e s
s p a r k l e
f l i r t
b l o g
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
We spent most of the day awkwardly. Me seeking the truth. Him giving plain and simple answers. Did I trust him? I wanted to.I couldn't look him in the eye. I kept my hands shoved in my pockets as we walked on the sidewalk so he wouldn't try to hold them. We watched a movie at his place in separate areas - me on the bed, and him in his chair. When we went to bed we lay straight, staring into space, not touching, and unable to sleep.
I tried to talk to him. I just longed to be cuddled. I was confused and angry, but I was ready to forgive and forget. I just wanted to be held. The way he always did, and they way I always loved.
And finally when he stretched his arms behind his head, I took my chance. I threw my arm across his chest and nuzzled into his side. And his hand instinctively went to my hair and just fingered my hair. It was so emotional I was almost crying.
And finally I said "This is all I want."
Him: "The hardest part about today was not being able to hold you."
"When I tried to hug you before and you pulled away, it was just... so awkward."
I replied "I was scared to see you."
"No matter what, I will always care for you, okay?"
4:58 PM
