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e y e s
s p a r k l e
f l i r t
b l o g
Sunday, September 13, 2009
It's weird... I expected this break up to just progressively get better and better for me. That I would just get over it, and my mood and spirits would just improve and improve. But it hasn't really been like that. It's been more like waves of emotion, more of an ebb and flow.For example, all week I was feeling fine. Even getting to the point where I recognized the large silver lining in this situation. But today... broke down and sobbed.
Maybe I'm trying to hard to feel better. I tried to let myself cry my heart out, sob and sob and sob... And the strategy was that I would release all my emotions at once and that would be the end of it. Well... it hasn't been that easy.
His actions are confusing for me. Even though I want him to be very nice to me, it's hard not to read into it when he is. His kindness is throwing me off. And therefore a small part of me is just waiting for him to realize that he's made this huge mistake and that he wants me back. It's hard for me to let that idea go. He is confusing me.
And so I've realized that I need to minimize my own contact with him. Which shouldn't be hard.
Fuck.
11:09 PM
