So I went on my second date with J. And he's cute. And really nice. And considerate. And I don't think we're headed towards the "just friends" category. He touched me a few times on my back, which I love. I was debating in my head whether or not I wanted to kiss him at the end of the date or not. I actually wanted to. I have to admit I'm craving physical affection.
But when it came right down to it, I couldn't. We just hugged again.
I think that I don't know how to first kiss someone anymore. The thing is, S and I were in perfect harmony when it came to kissing. We were so physically compatible. So much so, I wonder deep inside if our lust for eachother was the basis for our relationship and "love."
So I wonder... is the reason why I couldn't kiss J because I only want to kiss S?
I used to be so brave with kisses. I had no problem reaching up on my tip toes and kissing someone. Perhaps that's where I got myself into trouble with S. So now... I don't know.
I think I just need J to be the one to kiss me. Right now he's just being a gentleman (I think) because really it's only been 2 dates. I don't know. 12:44 AM