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e y e s
s p a r k l e
f l i r t
b l o g
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
I think I know what I was trying to articulate yesterday. I think I've reached the point where I would rather pretend that S no longer exists. I think that pretending that he doesn't exist anymore has been the easiest way to cope.It's funny the stages I went through. Not sure how well they correspond to the stages of grieving, but I think that my emotions have definitely been evolving.
At first I was devastated. Crying and crying. And all I wanted to do was talk to him, see him.
I definitely went through a denial stage where my mind twisted things in my head. The reality of what happened got a little fuzzy, but I managed to hold it together. I still wanted to talk to him at this stage.
I've also had periods of anger through out.
And now I'm at the stage where I don't want to know anything about him. I don't want evidence that he still exists. Evidence of his existence make me mad. Luckily for me, it hasn't been too hard to completely cut him out. Our friends don't overlap here. He works in a completely different area. I don't really need to even been in his neighbourhood ever.
I've even debated if I'll even let him know when I've moved back home. We haven't talked in over a month (I've lost track how many weeks). I anticipate moving home some time next year. Will we even be in contact ever? What would be the point of letting him know? Would he even care? Does it make a difference?
8:23 PM
