I'm actually starting to see the upsides of being single. And it's not like I necessarily think that I'll be single forever, but I'm can see the benefits now.
I mean, when I was with S, I was happy because I was so in love with him, but I don't think I was in love with my life with him (while it lasted). I think I felt a bit trapped and like I didn't have a lot of say in the direction my life was headed in.
If I'm on my own, I don't answer to anyone. I don't need to compromise for anyone. The person who is most important to cater to, is myself.
I can focus on what I think will make me happy. And I think travelling will make me happy. I don't have to settle down. I can pick up and go.
I don't have to worry about being responsible for someone else's dinner. I really hated that when I was with S, and I know it's a sentiment shared by other married women I work with. That the guys we were with never took initiative to plan dinner. For me, if I didn't put some thought into it, if I left it completely up to him what we would have for dinner, we would end up eating cereal for dinner because nothing else would be ready. Without someone else around, I can plan or not plan our dinner, and when I plan my own dinner, I appreciate the effort I put into it.
I guess that's just something I was contemplating today. 10:01 PM