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e y e s
s p a r k l e
f l i r t
b l o g
Sunday, April 11, 2010
I think that I can't really do the casual sex thing. Because now I can't stop thinking about this guy I wasn't necessarily attracted to in the first place... not until after I kissed him the second time. I guess I really am a girl in that I can't separate the physical from the emotional.It's ridiculous because I left that guy behind in Asia, and I've returned to Canada now. We are separated by hemispheres. It should be easy for me to forget him. Logical at least. Damn facebook allows me to cyber stalk him.
I have to let him go. And I knew this. And yet I can't help but cling...
At least he was super nice to me when I was with him. We talked all night, when we weren't fooling around anyway. He found the scar under my chin, and he showed me his own multiple scars. In the darkness I used my fingers to find them.
In the morning he didn't rush me out, I left by my own timeline. And he not only walked me to the station, he walked me inside until I paid my admission to get in. And when we parted, we kissed a long while inside. In front of all the morning commuters trying to get to work.
He was a good kisser. Which I'll never take for granted again after J (who was not a good kisser). He used the right amount of pressure, the right amount of tongue, the right amount of tenderness.
Maybe that's what got me in trouble... the kissing.
And he was good in bed. We got around to doing it 4 times that night. Different positions. He was strong. He had smooth skin, and more muscle than even S had. His deltoids were the biggest I've seen on an Asian guy. I used my fingers to draw imaginary lines around his muscles and up and down his back.
Is that how a one night stand is supposed to go? Well technically it was my 2nd time meeting him. I always imagined that a one night stand wouldn't involve any affection or tenderness.
But I guess he's young, and a guy. He'll probably meet a ton more girls just like me. I guess in retrospect it wasn't hard to meet him and hook up. If it's easy for him, it should be easy for me. Except for the little problem I have with emotional attachment. Dammit.
1:44 AM
