I finally threw out S's tupperware container. It had been sitting in my fridge for months.
It was filled with blueberries. S gave it to me when I went over to his house to do laundry post-break-up. It was a strange visit. It was so familiar... I remember how nice S was being to me, extra nice. And how it seemed like he didn't want me to leave.
I have to try not to over think that visit. I always wonder about what I could've done differently. If I had stayed longer, would we have gotten back together? And thinking that way will get me nowhere fast.
He had shown me a tupperware full of blueberries that his aunt had given to him. And in typical fashion, he stuck them in his freezer without washing the berries first. And I was trying to suggest that he could try washing them after thawing them... and then he gave them to me and insisted I take them, as long as he got his tupperware container back.
So I took them. And stuck them in my freezer. And never touched them... until now. I threw the whole frozen container intact, still full of blueberries, into the garbage for pick up tomorrow.
I had always been using them as a link to S. I thought that I would one day return the tupperware to him. Along with his keys.
I suppose it's a sign that I am letting him go more. I guess I've decided not to contact him to say good bye? 3:17 AM