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e y e s
s p a r k l e
f l i r t
b l o g
Friday, July 02, 2010
Oh my god what a mess. Well not a mess, but hitting some not so fun parts of this casual dating thing.Things with A are pretty much done. It's okay, he's kind of an a$$hole and sex with him is hot, but kinda uncomfortable (size is important, in this case, he's got too much).
Then there's J. A friend, but one that I always knew that there was this undercurrent of attraction. He's actually not much to look at, but just has this way about him... He has this way of making you feel really special. And I actually really like hanging out with him because we like doing a lot of the same things.
So I crashed at his place Wednesday night after we went to see a DJ spin. And I guess I saw this coming, but we had sex. It's the first time I've had sex with a friend. So I actually felt more self-conscious than I would have if it had been someone that I had just met. It felt strange, but hot, to have him touch me and then f*ck me.
And I just wasn't sure what to expect afterwards. If we were just gonna treat it like a one time thing, or if we were gonna start something... I didn't know. And I was gonna try to not put any labels on it. It wasn't awkward the morning after though, but I didn't know what it all meant. We kissed in his kitchen, and then went for brunch together. Saying good bye I gave a him a hug but had to run to catch the streetcar.
But now he's texted me: "I keep thinking about you, let's meet tomorrow". Now I know I'm in trouble. I'm not sure what I want. But the sex was good. He makes me feel beautiful. But now I'm starting to feel like there's too much on my plate.
Because there's also M. A friend of my brother-in-law. And my sister doesn't approve. But he's being super sweet to me, and he was sooo much fun the other night when we were all hanging out together. It doesn't hurt that he's got nice cheek bones with dimples. And that he likes me too, and had no problem telling me that the other night. He also told me that I was really cute and that he loves my smile.
Those are the main ones... there are 2 other guys trying to ask me out as well... but this is what I mean about starting to have too much on my plate.
Well I guess I'm getting rid of A. What he doesn't know is that I've already been seeing other guys behind his back anyway. He's so f*cking cocky, that it would be a huge blow to his ego. But I think I'll keep that one to myself.
1:27 AM
