When J and I did it... I remember we were lying in his bed. I had borrowed a t-shirt of his and boxers to sleep in. All I had brought with me, knowing I was going to crash, was my toothbrush.
During this time, I naively still thought that it was possible to sleep in the same bed platonically. But I wasn't sure.
Our legs touched almost immediately when we got under the covers. I warned him about my cold feet. We continued to just talk in bed. And then I remember turning onto my side towards him, and he kissed me.
I remember his hand on my thigh and travelling upwards onto my a$$, going under his own boxers that I was wearing. And I remember feeling like it was really strange that he was touching me because I had known him so long. Why was it so strange? I felt a bit more self-conscious knowing he was touching me than I would've if it had been a stranger.
He pulled me on top of him and we were kissing... then he sat up... and entered me. So I was in his lap at first... then we switched to missionary. It was hot. I was slowly being pushed off the bed (which was just a mattress on the floor), and once my head was off the mattress I started giggling. He fixed me.
After we were both panting. He apologized for it being so short, vaguely saying that it had been a while for him. It actually didn't feel that short to me. I told him it was fine, and I wasn't lying.
The next morning we started off with missionary. I always like missionary. Then we switched to doggy. Again afterwards he apologized for the length... which I thought was silly.
I still don't know where we stand and what I want from this. 11:49 PM