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e y e s
s p a r k l e
f l i r t
b l o g

Sunday, August 22, 2010

I don't know why M makes me so insecure. Maybe because it's the first time since S that I've been serious about a guy. Everyone in between was never that serious.

There was J... and although I got close to him, I just never connected to him emotionally - it was never meant to be.

Then there was D. I got attached to him, but I guess it was more of an infatuation. And two encounters plus 3 weeks of facebook messaging is not a relationship.

Then there was A and J when I got back home. Those were definitely flings. Hot... but never meant to be again.

So with M... I guess it just makes me nervous, because if I let myself get attached and get comfortable, the potential to get hurt is so huge. Even though I can see that he's not S, that he is a different type of person, I'm still so scared. I feel like I'm not in control.

Perhaps it's not fair to him though. Because really, he's great. He's told me already that he has no doubts about me. So why do I have so many doubts about trusting him?

1:18 AM

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