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e y e s
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b l o g
Sunday, August 08, 2010
I have to confess I shed a tear over S this morning. Just one though.I don't know why. I think maybe now that it's August, maybe it's possible this is the one year anniversary of our epic break up.
I was thinking about the time I had gone over to do laundry at his house post break up. And neither of us knew what to do or how to act. So we fell into the habit of being with each other. He smiled and joked with me, he helped me fold my socks, which was unheard of when we were actually together. He seemed to not want me to leave, thinking of more things to show me or tell me about.
I remember being grateful for his kindness, but also my alarm bells were going off and I was so confused. I don't know if it was my self-preservation that made me want to escape. What was left of it anyway.
I wish that I didn't care. I have managed to not contact him at all since Christmas. I even let his birthday pass without trying to talk to him. However I can't help but wonder about him. I wonder how much he thinks about me, if he does at all. I wonder if all the love is truly gone. I wonder what he's doing, and if he's happy.
Maybe he's married or engaged to someone else already. I wonder if it's someone appropriate and parent approved.
Does he think about me? Does he realize my birthday is coming up?
2:31 AM
