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e y e s
s p a r k l e
f l i r t
b l o g
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
I think I'm kinda going through that stage where I'm back and forth between wanting to throw myself into this 100% and wanting to pull back. Like I'm manic.I guess I freak myself out too. Am I giving too much? Too little?
NL is fairly sensitive to it too I think. Like he senses when I'm pulling back. He can always tell.
I guess I'm approaching that 3 month mark. Is the fact that I'm even questioning it the answer in of itself? That scares me. That this isn't the one, that I have to keep looking. I've already thrown the L word out there. Can I take it back? What exactly am I feeling?
I keep comparing it to what I had with S. And why? Things with S were so rife with problems and distress. But my love for him was so pure and so unshakable. There was no questioning how much I loved S.
Can I ever duplicate that? Am I supposed to?
12:08 AM
