Just returned from a fairly blissful weekend with NL. I told him I loved him. But not right away...
On the first night I made some remark about loving how he loved me. I wasn't thinking. I was mainly referring to how he physically handled me, I wasn't talking about emotions, but of course it came out that way (I'm an idiot). After that statement he asked me if I loved him, and I couldn't answer. I told him that I thought I did, but I didn't want to say it. Not until I couldn't keep it in any longer, and that's how I would know it was true.
The second night we were at dinner, and I longed to tell him I loved him. It just kinda hit me. And I kept wanting to say it, but the timing was never right. At dinner it felt too public, too many other people around. Then afterwards friends of his joined us, so I couldn't say it then.
I didn't say it until we were in bed that night. And I whispered it: "I love you NL"
So there you have it. I'm in love again.
It's so different from S. When I fell in love with S, there was this underlying tragedy. Like I always knew he would destroy my heart.
With NL, it's still a little scary. But it's more like a more comfortable free fall into his arms.
I just hope it all works out. This could be my happily ever after. 12:02 AM